2024

As 2024 draws to a close, I want to wish everyone love this Holiday Season. 

This year, I had been hit with several rejections, failures, and breakable moments. Some of wish I'll share below. 

I remember coming into this year with hopefulness, glee and the excitement for whats to come. The place I'll go, the people I'll meet and other things that excite me. 

That wasn't the case this year.

I took out a loan from a loaner company back in 2023, because I needed to pay off the expenses from that year; food, vacations, etc. I had this mindset of 'You only live once, live it while you're young'. That mentality cost me everything. I took out a personal loan thinking I'll pay it all back with the amount they'll give me. After looking at my bank accounts, I realized I needed to do something about it. 

Also, the anxiety of telling your parents and loved ones, confessing to this situation and releasing all the tension and scarcity is painful.

Not realizing that there was an additional interest rate I'll have to pay. If I don't pay off this loan, by the end of 2028, I have to pay about 40% interest on top of the already mentioned undisclosed amount. Thankfully, there was a solution (which I will not share here). But it really shows you how certain loan companies offer you an "easier" way to pay off debt, when it makes it harder to do. 

Secondly, (and at the same time). I got hit with a potential scam. 

I was on my Instagram account and there was an opportunity in my DM's. It was a person who wanted to paint a picture of me and put it in an Art Gallery in Winnipeg. They said they'll pay me $500 compensation for having one of my portraits in a famous art museum. What they provided me was a cheque to e-transfer me the funds. They sent two out via my email. I remember the bank calling me about this potential scam and I stupidly declined it was a scam. I told them that its factual and needed the money to pay them back. The scammers were telling me about sending Apple Gift Cards (and it wasn't available in Canada). 

The next day, I did research about this likely scam attack. Thanks to this website which I'll share, Geek Mama's Instagram Scam Link (click there, promise it's not a scam). It completely blew me away. I changed everything to protect my personal identity. Banking information, phone numbers, etc. It made me emotionally upset that all my personal information had to be changed. 

I was supposed to go on a date with somebody on Hinge but after a weekend, they bailed out on me. 

I applied to several jobs including a seasonal position in a book store, but I kept blaming myself. By the time we went, I felt guilty of taking a vacation because of that opportunity I lost just for taking it, it made me upset. Also, I got an email from a health clinic about a job opportunity during my vacation. I had to strikingly decline it because I'm not there for that job interview. I blamed myself for leaving behind opportunities that I should have taken. I enjoyed the vacation, but the back of my head, I was belittled by if I didn't take time off, then what would had happened. 

Honestly, writing about this made me depressed. I had a bit of tears falling from my eyes each time I wrote about part of this horrible year I had. 

I don't know about next year because I've lowered my expectations by a lot but here's what I'll do during 2025.

1. Have low expectations from people, places and things. Sometimes they don't perceive as advertised, or lead to feelings of disappointment and sadness. 

2. Be nice to people who are nice to you. Treat yourself with kindness. I remember going to a workshop about reading Tarot Cards and doing Yoga. I remember talking (and crying) to my Yoga Instructor, feelings of unworthiness that I don't deserve to relax. What I'm trying to do is to reset my mind, meditate and learn to breathe. 

3. Opening up to people when you need to. I should've dealt with it sooner if I reached out to someone about my concerns. I'm very social but hide things from people to protect myself and others. But if I continued, it'll worsen the situation. I need to be more open with myself and share information with others. Ask questions if I'm unsure of something. 

Those are my goals for the year ahead.

Here is the video of my friend and I celebrating the New Years for 2024. 

Here is some of the memories this year.

Here's to 2025 with hopeful opportunities for everyone. 

Oh! Happy Year of the Snake!